NA = Ninja. Assassin.

This is fiction based loosely on reality. The fact that I would have to disclaimer this worries me.

The company I work for is not too far from being a cult. The only real thing lacking is doctrine. That’s ok because if you work for them they will change your life too. See they not only plan for inevitable change, they look forward to the possibilities. They are known for gasoline, but they know it won’t last forever so they started selling food like they’re a restaurant. Yeah, it’s a convenient store open 24/7, 365. I am an NA.

When hired on I didn’t know what to expect other than working my ass off cleaning a store all night long. What came after the ability to successfully maintain and detail a store was the classes they would send me to. When you walk into one of these stores everything looks normal, right? It all looks perfectly harmless in its uni-functionary way but what I’ve since learned is that everything is a weapon. From the type of mechanical pencils and generic pens to the hardware that rolls and warms taquitos, everything is a weapon. They teach us how to use them in special “skill school” sessions held at the division office dojo. It really is the only way to let off steam sometimes from dealing with the general newport-smoking populace and their need for original swisher’s and whether their random choice has a wood or plastic tip. They like to come in brandishing weapons sometimes and their attitudes are as unpredictable as the Texas weather. A daily allotment worksheet makes it to where we are in proximity to different “weapons” at all intervals of the shift.

I know what you’re thinking as you’re reading this and I want to put your mind at ease. Those of us they have chosen as NA’s have already been trained in various forms of martial arts and many of us even have military training. We are disciplined and will only resort to violence if any problem escalates violently out of control before the police arrive. It hasn’t been necessary yet. Even as I write this I wonder if it will lead some random punk to try something. Well, if it comes to that just know most of us aren’t afraid to die. You won’t get any money and you won’t get far. You will only succeed in shortening your own life as a free moral agent.



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